This Physically Hurts

Waking up this morning with a confused anger directed at a madman who was cowardly and evil enough to randomly kill innocent children and educators, I had to go to the gym.  The workout that followed was intense and filled with anger.  I didn't know what else to do.  It physically hurts to think of the holy innocent lives lost.  It physically hurts when I think of the pain the parents and family members of the victims feel.  I am fortunate enough to play with my kids today, get on their nerves at times, while a number of parents were robbed of that simple luxury in Connecticut.  It's so wrong.  It's so heinous.  It's so senseless.  It is so enraging.

I have had enough and I hope you have too.  We cannot continue on dealing with this nonsense in our society.  Armed to the hilt, shooting everyone in sight as if it were a video game...should outrage everyone.  Our nation has reached its tipping point and families, friends, caregivers need to speak up on this topic of violence, guns, and mental illness and responsibility.

Most fervent wishes and prayers to all the victims and their families.

Taking It Personal

Former Cardinals manager Tony Larussa won more games than any other manager in MLB history.  He also lost more games than any other manager.  I recall a local sportscaster informing me that Tony once told him that he "agonizes over every loss" and he took them all "personally."  Tony, in fact, stated that he preferred his players to "take it personally for a while."  The "for the while" point is well noted.  Tony knew that only when we take something personal do we really act to change it.  Yet, there is a delicate balance when we take things personally.  If we do so too much, we become a "drama"
king or queen and we overreact.

In the long run, we know nothing ever happens worthwhile without taking it personally.  When we see suffering and injustice, we should take it personally and then act upon it!

Let's just be smart in what we decide to take personal.

Seeing Ourselves the Way We Really Are

"There's nothing worse than being your own worst enemy."  I heard that from a former coach as a youth and never really understood it.  Now, as an adult, I see how that statement has manifested itself in my own life and the lives of so many others.  It's very difficult to see ourselves the way we really are and many times those misconceptions of self tend to lead us to poor decisions.  This is where having "good" friends and/or a spouse come into play.  I say  "good" because we really need the type of friends that will tell us when we are off course.  I'm not only referring to the friend who has the nerve to tell you that you have something stuck in between your teeth.  I am also referring to the friend that will flat out tell you that you are "wrong" in no uncertain amount of terms.  As adults, we play that role well for our children and students.  We immediately let them know when they are off course knowing that correction is sometimes the greatest form of affection.  Yet, with each other, we adults tend to avoid the courageous statement or conversation.  We let our social cues and "respect" for others lead us to allow our friends slide further down the slippery slope. 

I tell my colleagues that they need to tell me when I have something stuck in between my teeth.  In fact, if I go through an entire day, look at myself in the mirror, and see food in between my teeth, I am coming after them.  I need their correction...I just hope I am mature enough to take it!

When Our Idols Really Live Up to Our Expectations

It's rare when you get to meet someone you have admired from afar for years and get to know them on a deeper level.  It's even more rare when that person you admire lives up to those high expectations you had of them all along.  Most of our heroes, if we get to know them on a personal level,  let us down at some point and leave us deflated and deceived.  Well, for years I have been a huge fan of singer, songwriter and producer Javier Mendoza.  His song, "Me He Enamorado de Ti" (I've Fallen In Love With You) was the first song at my wedding in 1999 and I have been following his music ever since.  I have all 15 albums and can sing every song by heart.  Then, a couple years ago, I found out Javier was doing a show in Miami, the home of my good friends Artruro and Patricia and their children Emilio and Lily.  I sent an email to Javier hoping he could say something to the couple as they would attend his concert.  He had no idea who I was as we had never formally met.  I also explained to him that Arturo and Trish's daughter was suffering from a serious brain injury and the couple rarely got out of the house.  Javier responded immediately and took Arturo and Trish out to eat after the show in Miami.  It was then that he said he "wanted to help out their daughter Lily."  Since then, Javier has done 4 benefit concerts to raise money to support "Lily's Wellness."  His generosity and kindness are unparalleled to anything I have seen in the entertainment business. Always humble and down to earth, I am so grateful for the gift of his music and friendship. Javier's music is written, produced, promoted and totally created by him and him only.  I salute him on his musical journey in its most pure and artistic mode.

Mental Model Awareness

As I navigate through the systems thinking and sustainability learning conference in Tucson, Arizona, I have had to come face to face with many of my own mental models.  These mental models are best described as the "undiscussable theories we all hold in our minds."  They have a major impact on our daily decisions, how we view people, situations and events.  Often, our mental models lead us down the wrong path and the awareness of them allows us to refocus.  We all have our own ladders of inference that we need to understand so our leadership leads to sustainable growth.

I recently visited the mission San Xavier Church in Tucson (built by Jesuits in 1786) on the San Xavier Pappago Indian Reservation.  The church, and much of the community, have experienced little change over the past 240 years.  I left the reservation with a sense of respect and reverence for the resilient people and their beautiful culture.

The Need to Change Pace...

As summer approaches I am keenly aware of the need to change my pace in order to gain proper perspective.  We are fortunate in education to have been afforded this opportunity!  I find that I need about 3-4 days away from the workplace to really see it for what it is.  Each summer, I attempt to step back, change my pace, and gain a more broad perspective.  Reading texts that have nothing to do with my job (and some that do), traveling out of town, being spontaneous, and attempting to do something I normally don't do.  I realize I still have to work hard to get ready for the next school year to ensure it's even better than the last, but I have much better ideas and energy when I gain a broader perspective.

That's when I see things I may not have seen when I am deep into the grind of work.

Lily Tenacio Parron

To see her is to really respect her.  She was born without the abilities many of us take for granted.  Yet, she lives deeper than I do.  Expressive beyond measure with a joy and resilience that humbles the most vibrant liver of life, Lily Tenacio Parron continues to teach us.  I don't know why, but being with Lily creates an awareness that life is inherently good.  She continues to teach me that my life, which I sometimes see as challenging, is really a piece of cake full of joy and opportunity.  I can hear Lily telling me, "even when it's bad it's good" Kevin.

Thanks Lily!  Can't wait to see you soon.

  http://www.lilyswellness.org/home/

Willing To Be The Fool....

I have come to a realization that some of the best teachers I've ever had I would describe as "crazy."  They were often unpredictable, quirky, funny, goofy, yet constantly found ways to engage us.  As I become more mature (older), I can see that this was all part of their master plan to maximize learning.  In fact, I did the exact same thing as a teacher.  I really appreciate the fact that these educators were willing to "play the fool" in order to enhance our learning experience.  I recently ran into one of my former teachers and had to ask him about all the strange things he used to do in class.  We laughed about some of his outfits, sayings, and unique habits.  But, the final thing he said really made me think when I asked him why he did all those things.  His response was hilarious.  "Sometimes you students were so boring and dull that I had to do things to entertain myself or I'd go nuts."

The Witness On the Balcony of Room 306

What a blessing it was to spend time with Dr. Rev. Billy Kyles.  I have had the good fortune to meet some incredible people in my life, but no one I've met had the aura surrounding himself that Billy Kyles has.  This "aura" is best described as a humble sense of self and one's place in history.   Dr. Kyles is one of those few people that when you compare his life's work to yours, you feel humbled and insignificant.  Yet, he won't allow you to feel that way about yourself.  On the contrary, he builds you up to be something better than you ever been. 

Many know that the Rev. Kyles was standing next to Dr. Martin Luther King on the balcony of the Lorraine Hotel in April of 1968 when Dr. King was assassinated.  In fact, Dr. King was on the way to Kyles' home for dinner that same evening.   But, there's so much more to the man than that.

Rev. Kyles mesmerized our student body and staff with his story and challenge of keeping "your dream" alive.  The response of the student body was one of awe, respect, and a surprising yet appropriate urge to be near, and even touch Dr. Kyles.  I will cherish forever this personal time I spent with Rev. Dr.Samuel Billy Kyles. 

Timmy Tebow And The Joy of Proving People Wrong

After reading the autobiography of this unique athlete before this NFL season ever began, I had the feeling that if Tim Tebow was ever given a chance to play, he'd surely make the most of it.  After leading the Broncos to a playoff victory and perhaps the most surprising turnaround team of the season, Tim Tebow has proven himself again...yet he still has doubters. 

The funny thing is, Tim Tebow loves doubters.  He thrives on proving people wrong.  After all, he's done it since birth.  While pregnant with Tim, his mother Pam Tebow (while living in the Philippines) contracted a horrible sickness in the latter stages of her pregnancy.  Doctors advised her that she should terminate the pregnancy not only to save her own life, but for the fact they thought the baby would be born so disfigured and weak he'd have what they termed, "A miserable existence."

Pam was determined that she'd have a healthy child and against all medical odds --she did.  Her son Timmy Tebow began life by quieting the doubters and continues to do it today.   Not only does he do it with class and a refreshingly giving spirit, he does so while keeping his job in perspective and giving thanks where it is due.

Sunday Night Syndrome

After a fabulous 3-day weekend away from the stresses of work, I found myself having the "Sunday Night Syndrome" this past Monday, the evening of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday.  I was determined to avoid the syndrome, but still it came.  Then, I noticed my children also succumbing to the syndrome.  "Dad, I don't want to go to school tomorrow.  Why do we have to go so many days?" they asked.  I wondered if other parents and students were going through the same thing.

The question arises, "Why do we get that foreboding feeling every Sunday night?"  Is it the change of pace?  Is it the relaxed atmosphere we create on weekends that is so hard for us to let go?  Is it the fact we can begin to decompress and release our weekly stressors? Is it the fact that we feel a loss of freedom when our work week starts?

I am sure all of those play a role.  Regardless of the reason, I think the end goal is to enjoy our jobs so much that we become oblivious to the Sunday Night Syndrome and it ceases to exist in our lives.   The phrase, "making it work" comes to mind in this situation.  One of the greatest skills anyone can have is to make the most of their life situations and find the joy in the most seemingly mundane things.