Never Goes Out of Style-True Humility

John Wooden said, "Courtesy, politeness, and kindness" never go out of style.  I could not agree more.  I'd like to also add one thing that I have noticed that never goes out of style--true humility.  I am not speaking about a false humility in which someone downgrades their skills with the goal of really letting others within earshot know they actually do have these skills.  (This "false humility" is a mask for arrogance).  I am referring to the idea of letting others point out our positive points within us and not doing so ourselves.  It's OK to be good at something and acknowledge that, but the problem comes when we use that to downgrade others and make ourselves feel superior.  John Wooden also said, "Remember you are no better than anyone else, but just as good as everyone else."  Recalling this refrain is key to putting in perspective our sense of self worth.  John Wooden, the greatest coach ever, taught this skill to all his players.  Even Bill Walton, his most challenging personality, credits his coach with modeling a skill that never goes out of style--true humility

Rising Up

The 10th anniversary of 9-11 really hit me hard.  It seemed as if all the feelings and emotions that surfaced on that day 10 years ago were resurrected within.  I felt fear, anger, devastation, frustration and helplessness as I watched the numerous replays of the events that fateful day.

However, as I was watching a program on Discovery about the rebuilding of Ground Zero my thoughts and emotions took a turn for the better.  I saw the construction footage of the new tower--the building that when finished will be the tallest in our nation.  As they interviewed the men and women working on this mammoth project I also felt a renewed spirit.  Many of these workers had fathers or relatives that worked on the original World Trade Center.  Their determination, resilience, and laser-like focus on completing this mission was inspiring.

It was a wake up call to me as well.  They had a profound respect for the people that passed on 9-11-01, but a firm belief that the future ahead was bright and promising.  No, correct that.  They were imposing  their will on the future, if that is possible, by saying, "It will be bright, because we won't accept anything less."

The new One World Trade Center Tower rises up out of the ashes and makes a strong yet humble statement that no matter what tragedies and crimes befall us, we will always rise up after them.

LET'S ROLL!

Putting Your Whole Self In

It was 102 degrees in St. Louis on September 1st and my kids wanted to hit the pool.  We put on our swimsuits, got our towels, and walked over to the pool knowing this may be one of our last visits there this summer.  Upon entering, my children immediately threw themselves into the water with reckless abandon.  Meanwhile, I sat on a chair and watched from the pool deck.  I just wasn't sold on getting wet.  While I sat there sweating in this oppressive heat, my son shouted out, "Dad, what are you doing?  Did you just come here to sit on the side?  Get in here!"  His simple but wise plea awakened me.  I immediately hopped in the water and I must admit it felt pretty good.  But, that was not enough for my eldest son.  "Dad, you didn't even get your hair wet.  If you're gonna swim, you got to put your whole self in the water.  That's how you cool off!"  Again, I took his advice and submerged my "whole self" (including my head) underwater.

I wonder how often we miss out on something "better" because we are hesitant to put our "whole self in."  What a sad way to live--to only give a portion of what we have to our endeavors.  I am convinced that the deeper we place our self in anything we do, the greater our potential for joy.  In other words, the greater the self investment, the greater the joy (and disappointment) we open ourselves to experience.  Too many of us avoid the profound self investment in fear of experiencing failure.  In reality, that is letting fear guide our life decisions...which is no way to live.

Let Yourself Be Inconvenienced

Todd Whittaker mentions his simple but powerful phrase in all of his books at some point, "When you do something nice for someone, two people feel better... and one of them is you."  The truth is we do end up feeling better when we go out of our way to help someone else.  I know I have many opportunities each day to do "nice things" for others that I miss because I am too self-involved or focused on my own needs.  I really try to remind myself that the best things often come out of what I would consider "life's inconveniences."  The trick is being self aware enough to realize when we have a "worthy inconvenience."  

Let's try to be aware of when we feel "inconvenienced" this week.  Let's see what happens if we can embrace the inconvenience and put all our energy and attention into it.  Who knows, maybe something unexpectedly good may come out of it.   If it doesn't, we haven't lost much, and maybe we'll have learned some lessons in human interaction. 

The image above is a photo my daughter took of a deer we saw on a recent walk in the woods during a 100 degree day.  I almost missed that walk because I didn't want to be inconvenienced with a walk on a hot day.

Mountainous Goals

Just outside of Tucson you can find the Catalina Mountain Range.  The highest point is about 8,000 feet.  A group of 4 MRH staff members (including myself) and two students  awakened at 4:45 AM to attempt to  hike up the mountain as far as we could.  We were unaware that the Sierra Club rated this an "A Trail."  This is the rating they hold for the most difficult hiking trails.  We trudged up this rocky trail for 2 hours going up to about 5,500 feet.  We had a great view of the Tucson Valley below.  Dripping with sweat, tired, and picking thorns from the thousands of cactus along the way out of our clothes, we drank in the view and headed down.

All of us found the trek down much more challenging.  What a great lesson to learn.  Going up, we all had our mind focused on the summit and it motivated us.  Going down, we had no focal point.  This lack of a goal seemed to make our downward climb less invigorating.  We also got sloppy and had more slight falls, slips, and bumps.

I guess that's what happens when we take our eyes off the goal.

Judging and Grading

"Every judgement ends up being a self-judgement in some way."  I heard a presenter say this at a conference in Chicago this past weekend.  We were discussing the ethics of grading in schools and the idea that standards based grading was a more ethical way to go about it.  Separating behavior, timeliness, and teacher subjectivities from what kids actual know is not always so simple.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be seen as a judge for anybody.  God forbid anyone look at me in that same judgmental way.

Our grades really should not be seen as judgements should they?  Too many times they are because they seem so random and subjective.  Why did homework count for this amount?  How come we only had one test worth any points?  Why did I get a zero when I handed in the paper a day late?  Can I redo that test because I know I can do better?

When you let students know what their learning goals are and track their mastery of that goal, aren't we giving a more accurate description of what they actually know?

I think it's time we start to investigate the legitimacy of standards based grading.

Energy Givers and Takers

There are many ways we can categorize people, (and I abhor categories for people), but I must say this one caught my attention.  This speaker, who ran a very successful organization, stated that the basis of their success was the fact that he had 100% buy-in from staff that everyone would do their best to be an "energy giver" at this organization.  This did not mean that people did not have their bad days.  No, but it did mean that everyone was conscientious of the fact that their attitudes and feelings can alter the daily atmosphere and success of the organization.  And, in the end, if the results were not so satisfactory, people would still have the good fortune of working in a supportive and positive work environment.  "The funny thing is," said the speaker, "that every organization, team, family etc.. that has this buy in to being 'energy givers' seems to find success." After all, when there are no "energy takers" to poison our cultures and climates with their toxic attitudes and behaviors, we liberate our organizations and take the restraints off that were holding us back.

Are we "energy givers" or "energy takers?"